Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You smell like a Billy Joel song
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
