i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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