If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
