I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
