I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I checked into jail on foursquare
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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