i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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