Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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