I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
