Don't make out with my wife yet
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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