Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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