3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
