As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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