Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
