there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
