I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
