It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I enjoy the company of your penis
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize