So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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