Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
