Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
