I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
