Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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