I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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