I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
is wine microwaveable?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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