He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
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