Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
