last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
