So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
