I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
