It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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