OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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