sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
