this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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