The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
