Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
