Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize