my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
