pedialite and red bull = repair kit
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
