omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
