so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You're a waste of cheezeits
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize