it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
