You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize