I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
