Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
