When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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