just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
