can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
