She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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