Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
