I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
