woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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