Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
