Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
