shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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