I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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