We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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