12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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