Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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