The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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