So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
