girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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